Your Fridge Is Now a Fossil Record
 
Species: Magneto articulatus.
Era: Paleozoic / Modern Kitchen.
Location: Found clinging tenaciously to metallic surfaces.
 
This isn't just a magnet. It's proof that you're classier than your friends who just have regular, non-extinct animal magnets.
 
The Articulated Trilobite is a versatile relic from the Cambrian explosion, now ready for the explosion of chaos that is your kitchen. Thanks to its posable body, you can make it scuttle across the fridge door, or curl it up in shame when you realize you forgot to buy milk again.
 
It's survived five mass extinctions. It can probably handle holding up your chore chart. Probably.